A friend came to my house for coffee,
we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said,
“I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I
was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration
but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help
because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the
floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and
explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need
help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that
society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household
chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of
the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last
time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes,
changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You
said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you
looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you
expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You
never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all
this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as
you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give
her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes
to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
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